Dinesh and Bawa

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Saturday, August 9, 2008

Dear Cardinal Pell...

Ivan is incorrigible!

I can't believe he actually sent this letter to Cardinal Pell ... tongue firmly in cheek, here it is word for word :)



I thought I'd send a copy of a recent letter I sent to Cardinal Pell in the lead up to the Pope's visit here (Sydney). (I also cc'd it to the main paper but I got no answer from either.)


His Eminence George Cardinal Pell, A.C., D.Phil.(Oxon)., F.A.C.E.
Catholic Church Offices
Polding Centre
133 Liverpool Street
Sydney NSW 2000


Dear Cardinal Pell,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Laws leading up to the Pope's visit to Australia. I do, however need some further advice from you regarding elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

Firstly, in Leviticus - Chapter 25, Verse 44, it states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. My friends here in New South Wales claim this applies to Victorians but not to Queenslanders. Can you clarify? Why can't I own a Queenslander?

Secondly, my neighbour Harry said the other day he was thinking of selling his daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus Chapter 21, Verse 7. In this day and age, and all things considered, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

Thirdly, another neighbour, Romy, insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus Chapter 35, Verse 2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself or will you send someone around to finish him off?

Then, Leviticus, Chapter 21, Verse 20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear contact lenses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wriggle room here?

Another of the more troubling concerns is that most of my male friends here in Australia get their hair trimmed these days, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Leviticus in Chapter 19, Verse 27. How should they die?

Lastly, some of my colleagues here at IBM tend to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them as instructed by Leviticus Chapter 24, Verses 10-16? I'm really busy and stoning can take such a long time to get all the rocks organized and then there's all the cleaning up afterwards.

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding me that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Yours faithfully,

Ivan Brownrigg

cc The Sydney Morning Herald

 

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19 comments:

Abhay Karnataki said...

Wow!!!

aaha, this is the way to write!

Crazy Gopi said...

lol..Ivan is sooper hilarious!!! Thanks for the wkend humour dose Bau :-)

Abhi said...

Is Ivan for real or did you make him up!
The letter is hilarious!

Jyuthika said...

Did he really wrote it?!! :O
Wooww!! Cool one :P I am loving each of his posts now :)

Jai Gurudeva!

OH!! I AM BLESSED said...

Mind blowing letter IVAN...U r way tooo gooddd :)

Jai Gurudev!!

bhawana kapoor said...

hehe love abhi's comment..lol lol lol.. "Is Ivan for real or did you make him up" heheheh

Pradee said...

voww.. amazing... i mean, not sure if you can get away writing such a letter in india.... what do you think..???

komal said...

JGD... this one is now what i call "typical ivan style"
i hilarious.. and now that ive met ivan here in sydney ... he has a great sense of humour....

Trinaa said...

OMG..ivan's hilarious!! n he really sent it to the newspaper? haaaaaaaahhh..wish i could hv seen the cardinal's expression after he'd read it..!! ;)

Monica said...

gosh!! ofcourse, he didn't get a reply. hehe.
*the piece on defective eyesight is RIDICULOUS !! lol.

Pradnya said...

Hi bau!
i'm curious to read cardinal's reply..........

Raghav said...

Thats mischief to the max...Amazing sense of humor.

O.A.K. Tree said...

Man, this Ivan has guts and is fully loaded with sense of humor.

But sometimes I doubt if Ivan really exists or he's some fictional character of bawa!

Nevertheless, I love him and would love to meet him(if he really exists!)

JGD!

Anonymous said...

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says:

"HEBREWS"

JANKI PANDYA said...

He he really wrote it wow!
really liked reading it I really njoyed
good going

Kanasu Nagathihalli said...

My god! this person has a lot of guts... And i think someone needed to do the telling... or else, it just goes on, mindless doings everywhere...Someone has to take action. No wonder they did not reply.

Even in our college, it is the same case. they speak of holistic education and completely disclude what anyone can say about meditation and stuff like that. its so narrow minded of them.

Nikhil Saraf said...

Hahahahahaa...tooooo good! :D This guy is Unbelievable!

gauri said...

Bau kya li hain ek ek ki....Ivan for you that means you have got them.....got them good...adore the way you write, your humor is incomparable and the way you have slapped them while smiling all the time simply is applauding.... thoroughly enjoyed it....

sharika said...

this is sooooooo hilarious.. wud love to meet Ivan.. i really do hope he come sto navarathri this time

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