The fax

This happened in Rishikesh, almost 14 years ago.

Late one night, Guruji called me and gave me a slip of paper with a number on it. He told me that i should fax (emails were non existent then!) to this number a message saying that Guruji cannot make it to the function. This was one of the first things Guruji had ever told me to do.

I immediately went to the telephone booth to do it, and found that it was closed, and that they could do it only in the morning. So, i went to bed. The next morning, the slip of paper and the precious number on it had disappeared.

AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I searched and searched, retraced my steps from the phone booth, but no paper. In Rishikesh that time, from my room, you could clearly see Guruji's room. I started to look out furtively and avoid Him... and succeeded for the entire day. I hoped He would forget about it. You have NO idea the kind of mental turmoil i was having.




Then it was Satsang time. I sat at the very end of the hall, hiding behind some fat women.

Bhajans started, He glided in. For once i did all i could to hide and not get noticed...

He did His customary hmmmmm... looked straight in my direction and said, bawa have you done the fax yet? In a full satsang hall!!! I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me... everyone turned around and looked for me... i stammered, i lost the slip of paper Guruji... there was a collective gasp from the audience... He said, lost it? Oh I dont have the number, and we have to send the fax by tomorrow. How did you loose it?! Find it and do the fax by tomorrow!

All this is happening in front of 500+ people!

omygodomygodomygodomygod.... thats all i thought of during Satsang.

After Satsang, i ran to my room and started to methodically search for that $%^## slip of paper. It had simply vanished from the earth. I searched everywhere. Even on top of the fan blades. Then i searched again, and somewhere fell asleep... woke up early morning with a start and searched yet again, and again... i was exhausted... deep gloom... darkness all around in the middle of the afternoon...

Then i just sat down and prayed. I told Guruji (in my head), that i had really really done all i possibly could to find that paper, but i had failed. I really needed His help and His forgiveness...

and no, what happened is not what you think would happen... i didn't miraculously find the paper.

But Guruji called me to His room. He asked me again, did you do the fax? I said with a very heavy heart that i couldn't find the paper. He just smiled and hugged me and said
don't worry, that person just called up now, and I talked to him and told him I cant come... Do you want a sweet?

What relief!! What joy!!! The sun was shining again, the birds were singing and the roses were blooming...

An important lesson learned: Running away from Guruji is never a solution, He can be quite brutal! :). Help will be given and forgiveness is assured, but ONLY when you surrender... and that happens only when you give your 100%... and failing or succeeding is not the point... just giving your 100% and praying.

Jai Gurudeva!
love
bawa