Dinesh and Bawa

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Sunday, September 7, 2008

Wal Mart woes

I got this on a mail ... was too funny not to post here ... have a good laugh!

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.



1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

4. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

7. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

8. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

9. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

10. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

11. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

12. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and wh en people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

13. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least.

14. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'

Regards,
Tom Richards
Wal-Mart Manager  

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16 comments:

vivek said...

Hahahahahhhha!!!!!

Waataa MAN!!! I loved Mr.Samsel :)

I loved reading it :)

Jai Gurudev :)

Abhi said...

The Madonna bit is hilarious!

Trinaa said...

muhahahahhahaha..hilarious!!

Prakirtee said...

Ohhh this is so funny!! had a good laugh :)

O.A.K. Tree said...

Now Mr. Bean has got someone in competition... Mr. Samsel

I could not stop laughing at the last one.. "..There's no toilet paper.."

kewl...!!!

priyanka said...

Ha ha!its so funny.
the pick me! thing was too good:-))

Aparna said...

:)

:P last one eeeeeeeeeeee

LOL>>>>

Jai Gurudev!

Labelled This And That said...

Giving me some nice ideas to spice up the shopping trip this week :P !

Priya said...

hahhah... it was really funny!! :)

Sathya said...

Poor Mr Samsel is not alone (No. I am not one of his cohorts ;) Nor have I done anything like that in the past or will in the future). If you've visited a WalMart you'd know, what I mean. A huge complex full of stuff, all ready to breakdown. ;) . I would prefer the small road side shops, where if you'd visit enough number of times, the shopkeeper would give you stuff on credit ;). (I am not encouraging this by any means)

Well, coming back to the point- a Consumeristic economy in the U.S. has really done a lot of harm, and people don't know it!! (if not a graduate education, this is what I have learn't in one year :D) There is a wonderful video called 'the Story of Stuff' about this very same issue, and it is pertinent to many growing nations as well (I dunno if I can paste links in the comments sections, but anyway here goes) -

http://www.storyofstuff.com/

Love,
Sathya
Jai Guru Dev

PS: Bau / Dinesh - I have been reading your blog for months now. Its one of my favs and I keep checking it every few hours. :)

Abhi said...

can someone please think of Mrs Samsel responded !!
I am dying to read that!

This is hilarious.
Btw, Sams, is a sister concern of Walmart, started by Sam Walton. Hence probably the name, Samsel...

Sakshi Batra said...

Very funny bau!
More of these would be good!
Jai Gurudev
Sakshi

komal said...

hahahahahaha.. its hilarious.. liked the pikk me bit wow bau keep em coming ............

Abhay Karnataki said...

hahaha!!!

nice ideas... Will implement them in Big Bazaarrr!!! hee hee hee!

except the last one of course... :)

dr.mangla said...

DEAR BAWA,

HILARIOUS! I APPRECIATE YOUR SENSE OF SELECTION OF COMMENTS AND HUMOUR; AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

Venki said...

Bau i was to walmart just 2days before and i could iamgine how it this mail pertains, u rock bau that was amazing, i could get the whole picture of mr Samsel, how he would have been

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